||[May. 4th, 2005|07:32 pm]
Things are strange you know. The traveling has been more than I could ever ask for in such a short span of time. Im realizing so much now that I am now busting my ass to change, starting with the need to get the fuck away from my parents for awhile. Im sorry if this is crass, but Im tired of the same old bullshit treatment, the unstable love and support that I get from them. I am dying to get to Barcelona in June. This is not a want, but a sincere need. One of which I cannot quite pin point, but I should be there. Its a spiritual sign calling me.My mother can make me feel like shit in the blink of an eye, and this is too unhealthy. I do realize that Mother's Day is coming up, but I am not feeling so celebratory.|
In other news...my website is almost up and running. I am graduating from college in two weeks. I will throw a big shin dig at APT and then the rest is in the sky. Not sure what.
Ive been photographing everything with my Canon. Its quite insane what Ive been doing. Its funny how naked flesh becomes less of a sexual aesthetic and more like the parts to a giant puzzle behind the lens. I need more of my friends to be comfortable undressed. Theres such honesty in vulnerability.
And so everyone is "so excited" that Im single now. Its funny because being single does not mean being available. And for me being not available means I dont want just anyone. I dont want cheap fucks and maybe my heart still feels and reserves. Some one new and cute doesnt stamp that out. Well at least that has yet to be seen.