|I emerge from outer space
||[Sep. 28th, 2005|07:01 pm]
And find myself in the middle of Denmark. A third trip to Europe and Im typing mid day listening to Pink Floyd and wondering where I am going with everything and anything. |
They all said Id be great when I grew up. They all said the world will know my name. Thats alot to live up to. I feel it in my bones. I just know. But when. Sometimes when I close my eyes I can hear the ticking clock in my head, beckoning me to start...move swiftly and pursue greatness. Thats alot to grasp when I am 23 and running half way across the world to find what I cant seem to find within myself. (That being the ability to get rid of fear). My friend is in the kitchen cooking me dinner, my ex has emailed me, my heart is catapulting a fearful sticky substance. I feel like I am living the life and drowning at the same time. I am taking huge risks but at the same time making baby steps. Perhaps one of you can relate.
I am inlove with life and learning and seeing new things. I am inlove with understanding that love goes beyond anything Ive ever experienced in my life.
I know that when I return to america I will be at a loss for words because life is so different here. Not better, but just different. Most days I am confident. I feel wonderful. Some days I feel like I need to be loved.
I was unsure about what life would be like after college. I suppose its a number of uncertainties, a number of joys, and a number of pains that eventually go away. People, things, loved ones can always surprise us, and at those times I seem to find the best comfort in the eyes of a stranger.
But, I am a blessed and thrilled to be able to bounce back and forth onto different continents. I smile because I am doing the impossible for so many young black women in the world. I am simply living beyond means. And I am grateful.