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Khadi

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TODAY IS MY.... [Jan. 7th, 2005|11:02 am]
Khadi
BIRTHDAY. WHOOP WHOOP. Im 23. For the first time I actually feel like I am my age. Whatever 23 is supposed to feel like. Well anyway, heres to my birth and yours too. Much love,Khadi.
Oh yea...and a recent picture. I look like a zombie.
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more [Dec. 30th, 2004|12:47 am]
Khadi
Also...my family is officially OK. Whew.

And I need so sense of freedom soon. After another visit up north. I think Im going to travel the west coast for a bit. Id love to see some of you!
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ROARRRRRRRRRR [Dec. 30th, 2004|12:23 am]
Khadi
OK...take no offense.


BUT GODDDAAMNNN ALL YOU SELFISH BASTIDS. How does the world revolve around pedicures and movies and fake breasts and nose jobs and shoes and video games and fucking hummers in one hemisphere, and 80,000 dead in another. Perspectives people. PERSPECTIVES.
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Saddened [Dec. 28th, 2004|02:36 pm]
Khadi
by the rising death toll by the minute. 60,000 lives lost just like that. This is horrible. Friends and family of mine in Goa are not accounted for. Im sort of dazed because when you havent seen your family in a year, and theyre half way around the world, sometimes its easy to believe that theyre not really dead, or swallowed up by a seemingly un-divine natural disaster. Its times like these that I wish I were God.
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(no subject) [Dec. 18th, 2004|02:32 pm]
Khadi
Ahhhhhhhhh. Ive had a fever for three consecutive days now. I havent been able to contact anyone feeling so yucky. I hope it goes away. Forgive me.
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Dont Ask...Dont Ask Tell [Dec. 11th, 2004|07:15 pm]
Khadi
WOW. I was born on the same day as ZORA NEAL HURSTON...and we went to the same college. YAY!

Also I had such a strange dream, which will probably ruin the momentum of what was just previously said, but anyway...I had a dream that I was hitting on and having sex with Robert Dinero. Followed by a dream about a penis gumball machine, or was it a gumball machine penis???
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Aha! [Dec. 11th, 2004|08:41 am]
Khadi
Still there remains a small portion of me that allows my ignorant mother to hurt me. I say ignorant, because she only sees what she wants and what she can as far as our relationship. She actually gets angry with me when I expect quality time with her. For those of you with soft tempers, cover your eyes. FUCK HER.
I love her, but I will stand to distance myself because Im tired of this. At 22 I realize that being a college student and battling lupus and being a regular daughter who strives for what many others do is possibly too much for her. Shes completely stupid to pass up time that really isnt left anymore. And her approach is not enough for me. Conclusion without a solution. Im not seeking.

The sky may be falling in some aspects, but Im graduating soon. I am very excited, sad, complacent, etc. I wish I had the brains to get into Columbia for grad, and the cash. Four years of knowing what to expect is on its way out. Its time for me to make my mark somewhere else. I want to study in Europe, live in Brasil, go everywhere, meet everyone, etc etc.

Everyone is moving to California...first Lenny, maybe Haydn, then Mattpew, and now possibly Evan. Booooo!
Well I'll definitely have a place to visit. Id like to relive California void of the desperate ex and the psycho roommate situations, and the 40 dollar pancakes. California means Santa Cruz and San Francisco to me, and driving down route I, and awkward sleeping arrangements with two women having sex next to you, one of which is your best friend's girlfriend, and WHAT DO YOU DO!!! Im glad I am not 19 anymore. Whew!
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(no subject) [Dec. 1st, 2004|10:21 am]
Khadi
I wonder if I should unprivatize my journal. It sucks having mini stalkers lurking about online. Boo to them.

And now off to the mall to fight evil consumers. A place where bad chinese food goes fast and little kids pee in their pants before hitting the stalls. A place where you see more teenage girl butt cracks than a plumbers convention. Oh yay for me.

Thanks Evan for the cookie advice!

Oh yes: A random fact- The Crypts and the Bloods (street gangs that have swept the nation) actually started from the progenies of the black panther mvt (crypts) to badass warring highschoolers. Blue and red were based on school colors. So now I cannot wear a red bandanna and look like the black farmers daughter because Ill be mistaken for the black blood's Shortee.

Tchauzinho
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Very Little... [Nov. 18th, 2004|10:27 pm]
Khadi
tolerance for overt racism that is going on lately at Columbia. Its making my blood boil. Fuck fuck fuck.

And in other news, I managed to get side swiped by a truck which punctured a gaping hole in my mother's car. $1250 dollars. I cried my eyes out because I know how my mom reacts, but to my surprise she was happy that I was alive. And to an even better surprise my grandma Muffin Duffin told me she'd pay for it instead of blowing her money at Atlantic City. Whew!

Also...this girl that I made friends with at school all of a sudden stopped talking to me. It was random and she was super friendly, we went shopping together, talked, etc. Then nothing. I think it has to do with some weird jealousy issue. But then again I noticed that it happened almost immediately after I told her I had lupus and couldnt walk for super long periods of time. Well who needs her anyway. People are just insane sometimes.

Anyway..watching Desmond Tutu talk about HIV/AIDS in Africa is terribly sad. God I wish I could do something more. One day.
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Our America [Nov. 4th, 2004|02:01 am]
Khadi
I am more than disappointed. Im disgusted. The "solid south" has really proved itself to be what I feared it to be. (although I recognize those of you who dont fit within that category). Choosing who to vote for, some for the unpopular, some choosing the lesser of two evils, has proven arduous, but marginally not enough. I hate to say this, but I felt it. I knew it from the beginning where Jesus was used to emphasize safety and to infiltrate the comfort of millions of American homes. Killing in the name of the Lord. Killing in the name of Jesus is exactly the same as killing in the name of Allah. Both are manipulative and both are used on an ignorant population, a desperate population, and a population that regects truth.

Either way, either ticket, this country wouldnt have been set right. The activism should never cease, and with my activism, with my fist in the air, writing and speaking truths, some figment of my imagination furthered the idea of Kerry possibly stepping an inch or maybe half an inch in progress ahead of Bush. But four more years are among us. Approximately ten more years of blood shed. Four more years of terrorist capitalism against the world. Four more years of pain and suffering among the poor, working, lower middle class citizens of this nation. For more years of heightened minority profiling here and abroad, four more years of threats on women's rights. Four more years on threats for queer rights. We are now looking at a christian fundamentalist country that is growing as a response to a fundamentalist response to overt and ruthless american capitalism. But the masses run from the truth. The masses pit "bad guys," minorities with different faith's, "desert niggs," "sand buggies" against the true and pious american white man. The masses see Bush as a worker of the Lord, a lord which sanctions the murders of thousands of innocent. This is sickening. I think about my family in the middle east and Im filled with rage.

What the fuck are we going to do about it? In a country where people run from the truth. In a country where education (institutionalized or not)schools, libraries, newspapers, freedom of the press is available, in a country where one can have an individual thought (although generally stated), when the fuck will be open our privileged eyes and stop playing the victim? Not to denounce the pain or the sting of 9-11, but we as a nation, are privileged in even voicing our pain. How many times has terrorism graced the hearts of other nations, (ie. currently the Sudan, Palestine, etc.) and their cries remain unheard. What we are headed for is a nation full of apathy and selfishness.
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