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Im on my way... [Feb. 17th, 2005|10:44 pm]
to Europe this Saturday. Its finally come and I am beyond relieved and beyond excited.
These past few months have been for lack of a fitting word, overwhelmingly stressful, in every
arena, especially matters of the heart. Ive grown to actually understand his point of view and
I admire and respect him. Ive grown to understand that my love for him may not go away at all,even if that balance is never met. It hurts, but an even bigger hurt is knowing that I have hurt him and that we have hurt eachother. I cant lie and say I wouldnt love to show him what truly lies in my heart, to be able to really pour out physically and emotionally how great he is to me, but right now I want to show him how much he actually means to me through being the most supportive and loving friend I could possibly be for him. I will make 100 % sure that from this point out, I am 100 % that and only that. Only lovely things can come of that, and I will do my part not to be afraid to care so much anymore, even if it means Im putting myself and my heart on the line. Whew...

And so Im off to see and hear and taste and use my senses to understand things a bit different and how I can change myself to understand things better and to also love myself better. I started off feeling better by soaking in the sun today, buying alot of new undies and bras YAY (I have a secret Victorias Secret addiction) and lots of running around and blabbing on the tele and packing.

(Deleted comment)
From: illoh21
2005-02-20 03:57 am (UTC)
I'm proud of you girl! Good for you! And I hope you have a wonderful vacation. I will send my address by e-mail, but not sure if you'll get it or not. I guess we'll find out. Be careful and love and miss you!
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